Plastic Fact Eaters

ISSUE IV

2008-03-28T14:44:00.000-07:00

MARCH, 2008
ISSUE IV THE ONLY GOOD FLAG IS A BURNING FLAG

PLASTIC FACT EATERS IS:
A. FREE FOR ALL
B. SICK OF COPS SHUTTING DOWN ALL AGES SHOWS FOR NO GOOD REASON
C. REALLY BUSY
D. FUELED AND INSPIRED BY THE WORD “NO”
E. OUT TO DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU LOVE
F. FOR KIDS WHO ARE MATURE AND ADULTS WHO ARE NOT
G. STILL THE SHIT

PLASTIC FACT EATERS IS NOT:
A. CONVENTIONAL, AVERAGE, ORTHODOX OR ORDINARY
B. COMPENSATING FOR ANYTHING
C. POLITE OR POLITICALLY CORRECT
D. REPUBLICRAT
E. INSURED
F. AFRAID TO PUBLICLY ENDORSE RUDY REYES FOR COUNTY BOARD OF DIRECTORS
G. CITY BEAT OR THE READER

CONTRIBUTE! DID YOU GO TO A KILLER SHOW? WANNA TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT? WANT YOUR BAND’S CD REVIEWED? HIT US UP:
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/PLASTICFACTEATERS
PLASTICFACTEATERS(AT)GMAIL.COM
PLASTICFACTEATERS.BLOGSPOT.COM
(DON’T BE SCARED!)

LETTER FROM THE CHIEF ASSHOLE:

DEAREST READER:
THE DECISION WAS MADE TO MAKE PLASTIC FACT EATERS AVAILABLE ON THE WEB. WE DID THIS TO CEMENT THE VALUES AND ETHICS OF THIS PUBLICATION: NON-PROFIT, NON-CAPITALIST. IN CONVERTING TO ELECTRONIC FORMAT, WE ARE CONSERVING PAPER (WHILE IT COULD BE ARGUED THAT WE ARE WASTING FOSSIL FUELS INSTEAD, OR AT LEAST CONTRIBUTING TO THAT WASTE BY USING SOMETHING THAT REQUIRES ELECTRICITY, BUT WE’RE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE METHODS USED BY THE POWERS THAT BE TO GENERATE ELECTRICITY), FUEL (AXING THE PAPER ROUTE), AS WELL AS GAINING ALMOST INFINITE DISTRIBUTION (OR AT LEAST THE POSSIBILITY OF IT). SO THAT IS WHERE WE ARE AT. NOTHING HAS CHANGED IN OUR ATTITUDE. THERE IS GOING TO BE A MUCH HEAVIER FOCUS ON REVIEWS OF INDEPENDENT RELEASES. SO TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO COME AND READ THIS, PLEASE. IT IS UP TO YOU, DEAREST READER, AS MUCH AS IT IS UP TO US, TO SPREAD THE GOOD WORD OF THIS HUMBLE PUBLICATION. SUCCESS OF THE LITTLE GUYS IS ALMOST DEPENDENT ON WORD OF MOUTH. THAT IS, OF COURSE, IF YOU FEEL THAT THIS SHIT IS WORTH READING. THANKS TO EVERYBODY WHO CONTRIBUTED TO THE PAPER VERSION OF PLASTIC FACT EATERS: BLACK WAX, VISHIONS, TENACIOUS INK, AND REPTILE CITY! PEACE.
JESUSid – CHIEF ASSHOLE. P.S. – NO SHOW REVIEWS THIS TIME, BECAUSE I DON’T FEEL LIKE DEALING WITH IT. FUCK IT!

REVIEWS

C.O.P. RIPPERSIDE 7 INCH EP
FLAT BLACK RECORDS 2007

Super-thrash, super skate-core, C.O.P. sounds like scraping your knees on asphalt. Very reminiscent of Oxnard, Los Angeles and O.C, C.O.P. remind me of a faster raunchier version of DI. Sometimes they kinda sound like more-thrash-less-metal Suicidal Tendencies. This EP is in the vein of Aggression, Direct Control, or Chaotic Mess. Most of the lyrics seem to be about skating, going crazy, slutty girls, being anti-social or bashing religion. If I found out these boys were amphetamine users, I would not be surprised. Recommended for skaters, kids with zits, and crack smokers.
-Jesusid

NUCLEAR TOMORROW SELF-TITLED CD EP
SELF-RELEASED 2007

This is a nice glossy little package of drunken San Diego bar punk tunes, RECORDED BY Jeff Forrest at Doubletime Studios. Nuclear Tomorrow plays a buzzed So-Cal/O.C. skate-thrash style. They would probably drain your keg if you asked them to play your backyard birthday party. These guys rocked so hard at Chasers that they caused an electrical fire. Favorites: Let’s Start Drinkin’, Motivation Song, Kids Today, Death Is Reality.
-Jesusid

BAD REACTION PLASTIC WORLD 7” EP 2007
FLAT BLACK RECORDS

Bad Reaction is upbeat and fun defiant punk. They sound distinctly Californian, the kind of band you would have a blast thrashing around with your friends to. Plastic World is short and sweet, fast and disobedient. The beginning of side B (prelude to the song I Hate My Job) has an awesome sample from the punk cult classic Repo Man:
Boss: “Otto, it has come to my attention that you haven’t been paying attention to the way you are spacing the cans. Now, many young men your age, in these uncertain times… Otto!”
Worker: “Hey, he’s talkin’ to you.”
Otto: “FUCK YOU.”
I really like the cover art, to zombie-esque people in a classic car riding through an apocalyptic scene of destruction, with a mushroom cloud looming in the background. This EP is a good time! –Jesusid

MACHINE’S AGENDA OUT OF MY LOOP: THE COMPLETE RECORDINGS
DISCOGRAPHY CD 2007 ZEN WHISPER RECORDINGS

Out of My Loop has all things Machine’s Agenda on one convenient disc: the oldschool “Crackhouse” demo I heard years ago on 96.9 FM, their explosive debut CD Remain in Control, the final, unreleased Can’t Fix This Hate EP. It also features a full live set at Chasers, and a couple of other live tracks from the Metro Opera House in Oakland and the Zombie Lounge in San Diego. A hefty collage of soundbites, including quite a few old demos, strewn together at random concludes the disc. This reminds me of Blatz. Can’t Fix This Hate delivers the full brunt of Heather Agenda’s (AKA HD Hell) raspy vocal attack, with more complex and intricate song progressions, a barrage of sonic fury and frustration. Remain in Control bears the classic Machine’s Agenda set recorded on tape in the studio (both Remain in Control and Can’t Fix This Hate were recorded by Jeff Forrest at Doubletime Studios). Classics like Waste, Little Piece of Heaven, Stand and Defend, and Their Warfare sound warm and timeless on this CD. So many great shows, memories, demos, and players. One phenomenal band, one badass discography! -Jesusid

FULL FRONTAL ASSAULT: THE UNIVERSAL STRUGGLE CD 2003

FULL FRONTAL ASSAULT is just that. Recommended listening volume? ‘Til your fuckin’ ears bleed. Hailing from Bellingham, WA, the crew from FFA have made the trek to S.D. twice this past year, and I was lucky enough to see them both times. The Universal Struggle, released in 2003, starts out with a beautiful intro featuring Jimmy Kastelic on Piano and Dylan Reek on Cello (cigar and brandy, anyone?) but wait… Can you say METAL? These fucking guys that I speak to you about are a force to be reckoned with. Gabe Taylor is a drumming madman with outrageous stamina. Very crisp fills and blast beats that seem to defy physics. Look out, Lombardo (hidden track: Angel of Death). Coupled with bassist Eli Cobb, they form a rhythm section from Hell. Vocalist Jeff Kastelic’s textures, well let’s just say he’s possessed. Great first release by a band that could and should take the metal-loving world by storm. Track #4, Surrender or Slaughter is the biz. Following that release, the band added guitarist Bobby Lind and the sound just got even harder. Leading the Resistance started kicking ass in 2006 and I can’t wait for the new one due out later this year. If you love music, if you love metal, check ‘em out. Great albums, great live shows, excellent band! –Matt Nasty

CRUCIAL CAUSE TRY OUR LUCK 7 INCH EP
FLAT BLACK RECORDS 2007

Another one of Flat Black’s skate-core sounding bands, Crucial Cause play a thicker blend of punk rock. Up-tempo and laced with delicious stop-n’-go’s, they flaunt a dynamic togetherness that suggests time put into these tracks. Or maybe they are just really good. The vocals could almost be mistaken for Cheech Marin, and the percussion is brimming with very technical rolls that should be on a progressive rock album. These guys ROCK! The tempos are all over the place: cock-rock to hardcore to blast beats in a matter of seconds, breakdowns galore, breaking glass, and chaos. This record is delightfully fast and thrashy. Put it on loud and break some shit. -Jesusid

FUNERAL SHOCK III 7” EP
COWABUNGA RECORDS 2007

On this one, I am not biased. I have not heard these guys with their original vocalist, so I can’t hate on it right away on that premise. I particularly like this record. I really like the new vocalist, Negative Tom’s unique sound. The first track, Some Kind of Bullshit, is some kind of tight pissed off hardcore punk, with some pretty raw noise solos mixed in, Locked is a rampage of over-the-edge punk. The B-side is a nice little blaster called Fucked Up Kid, a torrent of blast-beat driven fury, with an anthemic outro (nice rockin’ leads). Oh yeah, this record has a BIG HOLE, too! Check it out, fans of raw, rocking punk. -Jesusid

DREAMS ARE FRE MOTHERFUCKER/THEDAYMANLOST SPLIT 7 INCH
FORCE FED RECORDS/JERK OFF RECORDS/ BAY AREA THRASH

Dreams Are Free Motherfucker are crazy-fast and loud, with tasty bass riffs complemented by crisply melodic/discordant guitars. DAFMF’s sound is similar to a cross between Vitamin X and Witchhunt. The vocals are high, the drums are furious, the guitars crazy and shimmering. This band is gnarly. TheDayManLost’s side is subtitled Pieces of Shit Masquerading as Human Beings. Included with the EP is a flyer regarding the evils of greyhound racing, which suggests that someone involved with this split is also involved in animal rights, or at the very least, vegetarian... This side of the record begins with a busy signal and immediately thrusts into a barrage of grindcore thrash comparable to Phobia, with vocal sound similar to a cross between Life Crisis and some death-grindcore band. TheDayManLost are uniquely sporadic and thrashy grindcore, and they are pretty pissed, with thunderous distorted bass, machine-gun snare driven blast beats, and super grimy grinding guitars. This is a fucking awesome split! -Jesusid

ABRUPT SELF-TITLED DEMO CD-R
SELF-RELEASED 2007

Abrupt, from Oakland, California, are a four piece who belt out crazy ass hardcore punk. This band is a powerhouse of punk veterans. HD Hell fronted Machine’s Agenda for a number of years. Bassist Wyatt plays for Born/Dead and played in Chemical Imbalance. Guitarist Sam is from Desolation; drummer Mike plays in or has played in Cretaceous, Phantom Limbs, and the Godz, and all three of the latter were members of the Scurvy Dogs. As of this time, their next show is with punk legends Verbal Abuse (March 22nd). This is a very clean demo. HD Hell’s voice is raw and scratchy, and Sam’s backups are gruff and menacing. This shit is way too short! It is available to listen to on their myspace page (www.myspace.com/abruptsf). Rumor has it that this is will be released on a 7 inch sometime in the near future… That would be swell. Everybody go now to the Abrupt page and listen to this wonderful debut by some talented fucking people. –Jesusid

THAT’S IT FOR THIS ISSUE. THE NEXT ONE SHOULD BE DONE A LOT SOONER THAN THIS ONE WAS. TOUGH SHIT, FOLKS.

PLASTIC FACT EATERS : JESUSid, MATT NASTY

ISSUE II A.K.A. III

2008-03-05T12:37:00.000-08:00

ISSUE II (A.K.A. ISSUE III)
FUCK THANKSGIVING, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
“Thanks for giving me what I didn’t want…” –M.D.C.
(ALTERNATE COVER: “Fear is a powerful weapon against human development” –CRASS)

PLASTIC FACT EATERS IS:
-HUNGRY FOR KNOWLEDGE
-STILL NOT WORRIED ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK
-ADDICTED TO CONTROLLED SUBSTANCES
-SPONSERED BY BLACK WAX
-IN LOVE WITH THE WORLD
-DIY, SEX POSITIVE, PRO CHOICE, PRO GAY, ANTI-FUNDAMENTAL
-THE BEST MOTHERFUCKIN’ ‘ZINE IN S.D.

PLASTIC FACT EATERS IS NOT:
-CENSORED IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM
-AFRAID TO JAM OUT WITH OUR CLAMS OUT, ROCK OUT WITH OUR COCKS OUT, OR GET IN THE PITS WITH OUR TITS, RESPECTIVELY
-FAMILY-FRIENDLY
-FOR PROFIT
-EASILY INFLUENCED BY THE IDEALS OF OTHERS
-MAINSTREAM, BY ANY MEANS
-FOOLED BY CORPORATE MEDIA AND THEIR MIND CONTROL TACTICS
-SPORTS FRIENDLY, EITHER
-AFRAID TO USE CERTAIN ASPECTS OF THE SYSTEM AGAINST THE SYSTEM
-INTERESTED IN LISTENING TO SALES REPS TALK ABOUT HOW COOL THEY ARE
-ASHAMED OF A FUCKING THING

THANKS FOR PICKING UP THIS DIRTY RAG! PFE OCT ’07
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
CONTRIBUTE:
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/PLASTICFACTEATERS
PLASTICFACTEATERS@GMAIL.COM
BANDS: HIT US UP IF YOU WANT US TO REVIEW YOUR SHIT.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR AND CHIEF THIEF:
HI EVERYBODY. ALL I HAVE BEEN HEARING FOR A MONTH AND A HALF HAS BEEN, “WHERE’S THE NEW ISSUE OF PLASTIC FACT EATERS?” HERE IT FINALLY IS. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO CONTRIBUTED. THIS PIECE OF SHIT OWES ITS EXISTENCE TO MIKE WAX, AND LEE FROM TENACIOUS INK. MOST OF ALL, THANK YOU, FOR READING THIS AND EXPRESSING INTEREST. –JESUSID

R. I. P. MIKEY OFFENDER – PUNK ROCK/FUNK/METAL/H.C. PIONEER
(M.D.C./D.R.I.) x REST IN PEACE x

PLASTIC FACT REVIEW (HALLOWEEN EDITION)
CONTRIBUTONG WRITERS:
JESUSID – EDITOR-CHIEF
MATT NASTY – SOME OLD DIRTY SAILOR
MIKE WAX – OWNER & OPERATOR, BLACK WAX SKATE SHOP
CDS*VINYL*DEMOS*DVDS*SHOWS

SHOWS

EVE WHITE EVE BLACK*CHUCK IT UP*NIKKI & THE MONGOLOID
AUGUST 31ST, CITY HEIGHTS FREESKOOL
This night, I took nine zanex. I was fucked. Bad idea. Still, I had a really good time. I really don’t recommend driving in that condition. I don’t recommend taking that many pills. Anyways…
Miraculously, I arrived alive and unscathed at the City Heights Freeskool, a co-op house that offers free classes from Spanish to screen printing, and also features a ‘zine library. The show was held inside a small, detached garage which doubles as a screening room where attendees watch films.
I watched one half of acoustic duo Chuck It Up (I missed the first Chuck). Nikki & the Mongoloid are a couple of radical sistas from Ohio, rhyming about women’s rights and independence, organic farming and free thought and movement. They rocked the spot.
Eve White Eve Black play grungy garage rock a’ la Siouxsie. They are pretty spooky and I like them. I accidentally knocked the door open while they were playing because I was all fucked up. Whoops! –Jesusid

DOGSFLESH(UK)*LUGERS*NOISEGOD*
TIM RALDO & THE FILTHY FUKS*DREADED SOLUTION
Dreaded Solution needs a new drummer. Noisegod played a particularly blistering set, Rowland speed-picking his bass, vocalist Molly flinging herself across the hardwood dance floor and screaming rabidly. They ended their set by kicking over their equipment and lighting off smoke bombs and firecrackers and throwing them into the small Sunday night crowd.
Tim Raldo & the Filthy Fuks sounded super heavy, and played a lot of new material that reflects the band’s new, more serious approach.
We all had a blast slamming to I.B./E.C. speedsters, the Lugers…
Dogsflesh, a classic punk rock band from the UK, hit the stage in a fury of sweat, angst, and thick English accents. They doused Fannies with a set of hard punk anthems fueled by alcohol, rage and chaos.
The load-in doors first had to be wedged shut with a broom handle, then chained shut and bursting at the seams.
“These doors used to work before we started throwing shows here. We did this!” shouted hosting promoter (L.S.D.) and Noisegod bassist Rowland Bluntz. Somebody broke a forty-ounce bottle in the middle of the pit, adding to the danger. (What an asshole!)
This show was a really good time, and I’m glad I stuck around!

RAT SALAD (DALLAS,TX)*BASURA*NEVERLAND RANCH HANDS
SEPTEMBER 26th, ZOMBIE LOUNGE
“I gotta push my guts in,” exclaimed Stephan from his drum throne, colostomy bag at his side. This fuckin’ guy not only beat some serious drum skin, sand with a ferociousness reminiscent of the late Chuck Schulder (Death), but did it all with a raging hernia. I happened upon this unassuming, soft-spoken fella in the back parking lot of the Zombie Lounge, while I was working on my bowl o’ schwag and my second bottle of Blue Moon (dropped the first one). I pulled a plastic penis squirt gun (filled with beer) on him. “FREEZE!” We didn’t smoke together, but he seemed to be pot-friendly.
Rat Salad hails from Dallas, after originally forming in San Antonio. Cute little punk chick, Mary, shredded guitar and added backing vocals that shocked. This little girl can scream! Vocal range hit screaming highs and demonic lows. Very cool. Oscar handled bass. The sound they put out is best described as gore-punk/speed metal, with ferocious vocals and blast beats up your metal-loving ass. Remember Scatterbrain, well add a dash of Slayer and a social conscious tearing apart Wal-Mart on “Corporations,” (from their Spider Records release, RUINED) and you have just ordered a Rat Salad. If they hit your town, or you make the trek to Texas, check ‘em out. Hopefully, Stephan’s guts will be back inside his body. –Matt Nasty

SUBHUMANZ*MDC*WITCHHUNT*CAREER SOLDIERS
September 6th, SOMA San Diego
This was the day after my birthday. Super cool show. We arrived just in time to catch Witchhunt’s set. They are incredibly tight and very socially outspoken, which I always appreciate. They seem very aware of the clashes between DIY punk ethics and the music industry. I believe they are from Boston. I was glad I caught their set.
This was my second time watching MDC. Although last time was a much smaller show, they sounded tighter. They played Millions of Dead Cops and More Dead Cops almost entirely, as well as many off their latest, Magnus Dominus Corpus.
Dave Dictor pulled up his sleeve to show off his Foghorn Leghorn tattoo during the vegan anthem, “Chicken Squawk.” We only stayed for a few Subhumanz songs, because we wanted to get stoned. Good show, FUCK SOMA! –Jesusid

NO BORDERS CAMP BENEFIT
DR BIRD*IMPULSE*THE AMERICANS
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, OCTOBER 2007
Dr. Bird is male-female vocal harmonies, guitar/keyboard-based indie rock. They are cute and good. They seem to represent all things joyous about playing music. Impulse is from Chula Vista. They are a bunch of tough little Latino HXC punk kids who play fast and loud. The crusty kids were pleased to get down and dirty in the dusty East County backyard where the benefit was held. The Americans, originally from Hawaii, transplanted to San Diego and have tearing up the Anarcho-punk scene ever since. They are very tight and respectively DIY. Drummer Dan features creative fills and infinite stamina. This band is fucking awesome. I really hope they stick around.
Anyways, the cops showed, bands waited, played again and the cops came back. Show over. Abject (who was supposed to play after the Americans) moved the party to another house, closer to the city. Fun show! –Jesusid

PRODUCT REVIEWS BY MIKE WAX:
MYSTERY DVD – Black & White
Mystery’s first video release. Short and sweet. Only $10.99 at Black Wax. The Team has always been sick, and they finally have the chance to show it. They do not disappoint! Highlights include San Diego’s own Jimmy Carlin. It’s time this kid got recognized. Congrats. Jimmy! Ryan Smith is amazing. Ryan has always been one of my favorites. Switch front board on the notorious Skyline 16! This is a short video, but it gets right to the point. Worth every penny! –Mike Wax

TOMMY SANDOVAL SIGNATURE FLEECE
I hope everyone can see how sick this is. Made by FALLEN, it’s a hooded fleece with pot leaves all over it. Yes, it is GREEN! I’m afraid it’s going to be hard to see the sickness of this hoody in a black and white ‘zine. Plus, I’m afraid that the image may be too small and once it is blown up, it’ll be all pixilated and look like shit. But trust me, this hoody is 100% SICK AS FUCK! It is a must have for any smokers that like to represent Ganja. It is a Tommy Sandoval signature piece that represents Tommy’s lifestyle. Besides being one of the most innovative and recognizable pros of today… Tommy has a lime (I heard) that is decked out in black lights and velvet. Tommy is from Chula Vista. You can often find him skating at the Chula Vista skatepark. This hoody goes for $59.99 at any skate shop that has the balls (or ovaries) to carry it. –Mike Wax

I would like to use this space to say that you MUST support these kinds of magazines. Locally owned and operated companies are getting fewer and fewer. The corpos are drowning out our society. Culture and creativity are being lost. Don’t let them water you down! Support local companies. When I say support, I mean spend your money at local places. –Mike Wax

RELEASES
WE REALLY LIKE TO REVIEW SHIT!

WITCHHUNT – BLOOD RED STATES
FISTOLO RECORDS
When the majority of your favorite bands start sporting something new, chances are, you should check it out. BLOOD RED STATES tears into a fit of fuzzy, shimmering guitars, pounding drums and screechy male-female vocals. Issues range from ignorance, oppression, war, alienation, and more. This band sounds like Filth and Fugazi had a daughter together. –Jesusid

I OBJECT – TEACHING REVENGE
ALTERNATIVE TENTACLES/BLACK NOISE RECORDS
This record is SO loaded with fat riffs and awesome melodies. Although I Object comes out of New York, their sound is distinctly West Coast. They remind me of Vitamin X at times, with songs split between classic rock and chaotic hardcore. Vocalist Barb has a knack for anthemic melodies of nasty punk. Good record! -Jesusid

REGULATIONS – DIFFERENT NEEDS 7” EP
The first time I heard these guys, it was on the Havoc Records First 15 Years compilation. This could have come out in the ‘60’s, 70’s, 80’s or 90’s. They have such a classic garage punk sound. Vocals are dry and adolescent, similar to early Rollins. The guitar is overdriven just enough, giving it a somewhat British feel. Makes me think of drunken High School summer nights. –Jesusid

SAINT JUDE – 2007 CD-R DEMO
I snagged this from the Mouth Sewn Shut merch table at the Reagan Youth show. It starts out deceivingly stoner-rockish, and rips into heavy speedy hardcore. Growling vocals with Sabbath-esque breakdowns. Not bad for a freebie. Recommended to fans of Black Sabbath, Kyuss, Kylesa, etc… -Jesusid

CHRISTIAN CLUB – FINAL CONFESSION 7” EP
SORRY STATE RECORDS
For a long time, Christian Club was my favorite band from S.D. I was in a punk-friendly record store stronghold in Oakland when I ran across this beast of an EP. The cover is graced with an image of a man with a wooden cross being shoved down his throat. Fancy artwork by Daniel Lupton. This record has songs that were not on the original demo or the first 7-inch, as well as an alternative version of Jesus Fish Assholes and a new recording of Fuck Jehovah Witness. Exciting! Recorded by Jeff Forest. CHRISTIAN CLUB IS DEAD! –Jesusid

ABJECT – NO FLAGS NO NATIONS
The ever-effective team of Rob Logic and Jeff Forest strikes again! I was going to review the CD-R demo until this fell into my lap. Lucky for me. This CD sounds amazing. Dan’s drumming is profoundly fierce, and Sean’s vocals sound like a starving dog. Vic showcases his skills through an impossibly lengthy bass lead. Nick Skum’s solos are energetic and complement these anarchist anthems. Check out the unlisted Flux of Pink Indians cover. Keep an eye out for these guys in the near future. –Jesusid

MOUTH SEWN SHUT – DOOMED FUTURE TODAY
PROFANE EXISTENCE
The second release from Toxic Narcotic’s bastard child, Doomed Future Today provides an apocalyptic soundtrack of hardcore and reggae that pairs well with the unsettling times we live in. With subject matter ranging from government surveillance to Armageddon, this LP is ripe with speedy hardcore punk, gnarly breakdowns and reggae grooves that are waits-esque. –Jesusid

THE LUGERS – 20 SHOTS FIRED
This disc combines One Shot, One Kill with Onward to Battle for a full length of hardcore anger and hatred. These guys get a bad rap because of drama that often plagues their shows, but they are the nicest bunch of bald-headed hardasses I know. 20 Shot Fired rocks your balls, punk! -Jesusid

TWO GALLANTS – SELF-TITLED
SADDLE CREEK RECORDS
Another hauntingly beautiful effort from Adam and Tyson, known together as Two Gallants. The self-titled, third full length is chock full of raw melodies and dirty poetics full of historic facts, and human emotion that would presumably be reserved for an Old West gunslinger. Their blend of acoustics and energetic percussion is anything but run of the mill. The sound drifts high and low through the rustic plains via Neil Young X Violent Femmes. A very raw rock energy is also undeniable. Songs riddled with aggression, addiction, affection and ultimately utter disappointment seem to flow effortlessly to the ear. I will definitely say that this album is not for the manic-depressive or the emotionally challenged. These are some sad old somabitch go kill yourself tunes, but damn, they are good ones. Track eight, “Fly Low Carrion Crow,” personal favorite. Anyways. Try something new and check out this or any other Two Gallants releases. Seeing them perform later this month should prove to be very review-worthy. So, until then, go grab a bottle, light a smoke and enjoy! [See also: 2004 – The Throes, 2007 – Scenery For a Farewell] –Matt Nasty

THE AMERICANS – SELF-TITLED
Yet another shining gem out of Rob Logic’s mystery shop, this release from San Diego-based Hawaii transplants, the Americans, is premium anarcho-punk. They rock some real pissed off hardcore punk laced with classic samples, clever stops and breakdowns. The Cell Phone Song in an instant classic. “Hello? Can you hear me? I’m on my cell phone!”
The Americans appear despicably degenerate in contrast with their band title. Their sound is akin to Aus Rotten and Crass, with a Southern California twist. This album is a must for any modern punk fan. My only complaint is, as always, that it is entirely too short.
Watch out for a three-way split with Cathect and Abject in the not-too-distant future.
Final conclusion: After much apprehension and investigation, I love this band! God bless the Americans! -Jesusid

MADAM NOCTURNE
PFE’s own Matt Nasty interviews the prostitutes of El Cajon Blvd.
*DISCLAIMER: We at Plastic Fact Eaters DO NOT condone the exploitation of ANYONE! On the other hand, if someone wants to either provide or purchase a product or service, they should be able to safely do so, as long as nobody is getting hurt and everything’s legit. We also don’t recommend harassing working girls, because despite what they might say, they are always a phone call away from someone-with-a-gun. These girls were willing to talk, so print we shall! (Jesusid)

GIRL # 1
NAME: “Sensation”
AGE: 21
FROM: San Diego
PIMP RELATION: none (“Lone-Wolfin’”)*
HOW LONG HAVE YOU WORKED? First night*
LOOKS: cute, nice ass, red top, white bottom
RATES: All night - $500/East County - $300/Point Loma - $200
WHY HOOK? Hates jobs, loves money, loves to fuck
WHAT ABOUT THE WAR? It sucks
CLOSING STATEMENT: “Fuck da black man. I’ll be back, white honey.”
NOTE: She came back

GIRL # 2
NAME: “Yvette”
AGE: 35
FROM: San Diego
PIMP RELATION: none (Renegador”)*
RATES: Head - $80/Sex - $80/Both - $150
WHAT ABOUT THE WAR? “I don’t know about it
CLOSING STATEMENT: “Fuck the world.”

*=BELIEVED TO BE LYING

SPECIAL! JEN INTERVIEWS A PIMP!
PIMP: Where are you from?
JEN: Detroit.
PIMP: My boy is from Detroit.
JEN (TO PIMP’S BOY): If you’re from Detroit, why are you wearing a New York hat?
PIMP’S BOY: If you’re from Detroit, you should know that you have to match.
JEN: Can I have your pimp hat?
PIMP: No.
(Jen tried to take the pimp’s drunk friend’s hat, but no go. The pimp wanted to take Jen to a hotel across the street, but Jen declined.)
THAT’S ALL FOR THIS MONTH. PEACE!

CAPITAN COOKIE CHAOS – RANTIN’ RECIPES
YUMMY VEGAN CHOCOLATE CAKE!

3c FLOUR (580g)
2c SUGAR* (450g)
6 tblsp COCOA (100g)
2 tsp BAKING SODA (10ml)
1 tsp SALT (5ml)
3/4c VEGGIE OIL (200ml)
2 tblsp VINEGAR (30ml)
2 tsp VANILLA (30ml)
2c COLD H20 (480ml)

Mix dry ingredients. Add wet ingredients. Stir until smooth. Bake 2 greased, floured pans @ 350 degrees for 30 min. Makes 1 two-layer 9in or 8in cake or one small sheet. When cool, frost.

AMAZING VEGAN CHOCOLATE FROSTING

6oz UNSWEETENED CHOCOLATE – THE HIGHER THE % COCOA, THE BETTER
4tsp MARGARINE
1/2c HOT H20
4c CONFECTIONSER’S SUGAR*
2tsp VANILLA EXTRACT
1-2tblsp VANILLA SOY MILK (OPTIONAL)

Over very low heat, melt margarine and chocolate. Transfer to a mixing bowl and add hot water. Stir in vanilla and then sugar till creamy. Add soy milk if needed to make creamier at end.

*PLAIN WHITE SUGAR IS PROCESSED WITH CHARCOAL MADE SOMETIMES, ACTUALLY QUITE OFTEN, WITH ANIMAL BONES. SO TECHNICALLY TO ENSURE YOUR VEGAN CAKE IS 100% DEAD ANIMAL FREE, USE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING: EVAPORATED CANE JUICE CRYSTALS, MAPLE SYRUP SUGAR, OR EVEN MAPLE SYRUP, CORN SYRUP, OR AGAVE NECTAR. BUT IF YOU USE A LIQUID SWEETNER YOU HAVE TO REDUCE YOUR AMOUNT OF LIQUID SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE RECIPE. THIS RECIPE CAME FROM SOME U.S. GRANGE DURING THE DEPRESSION WHEN EGGS WERE SCARCE. THE U.S. GRANGE IS ONE OF THE FIRST FORMAL ORGANIZATIONS TO ALLOW WOMEN IN AS MEMBERS EQUAL TO MEN. FOR MORE VEGAN RECIPES, TURN OFF YOUR FUCKIN’ CORPORATE COOKING NETWORK AND PICK UP A BOOK. OR GO TO A LOCAL CO-OP AND TALK TO A HUMAN BEING. ENJOY 
LOVE, EL CAP
CAPTAINCOOKIECHAOS@GMAIL.COM

Scary Patti’s
Potions & Notions
Plastic Fact Eaters
REQUESTS? Scarypatti@gmail.com

Earth Friendly Cleaning Potions
The environment is on our minds more and more. Chemicals aren’t always the best choice to use in our homes. We don’t want Jr. or the pets getting exposed to cleaning products unnecessarily. With this column, I will attempt to give you some other options to some of the harsh chemicals used for cleaning. I do keep bleach in a high place above my washer. Yes, bleach is harsh, but it is a good thing to have on hand in case of a disaster. You can disinfect drinking water with it. So don’t throw it out. Let me start with something simple. Since this is the October issue, let’s start with something appropriate. To remove bloodstains from upholstery, mix some cornstarch with cold water to make paste. Cover the stain with the mixture, rub lightly and let sit until mixture is dry. Repeat if needed. Here’s a great way to get burnt food out of a pan. Make sure the burnt food is damp and sprinkle liberally with baking soda over the burnt areas. Let stand for an hour or more. The burnt food should peel out of the pan without much work. Try a spoon to lift it out.

Beauty and Hygiene Hints
Skin Exfoliate
This is my favorite beauty secret. Instead of buying an expensive facial product, try this. A dab of Miracle Whip on skin is a great way to exfoliate dead skin. Rub a dab on skin and wait a few minutes, massage skin until dead skin rolls off. You can use this on your face, feet, elbows and knees.

Mineral Splash
To restore the natural pH balance to your skin, mix one part apple cider vinegar with two parts warm water. Splash your face with mixture or use a spray bottle to mist your skin. Let air dry. Be careful not to get in your eyes.

Deep Hair Conditioner
This one is great for hair. Guys and girls can benefit from a deep hair conditioning treatment. Apply ½ cup of mayonnaise to dry unwashed hair, cover with a plastic bag, and wait 15 minutes. Rinse a few times before shampooing.

Banana Facial
Mash ¼ banana until very creamy. Spread all over face and leave for 15-20 minutes before rinsing off with warm water followed by a dash of cold. Gently pat fry.

THE CHRONICLES OF
DRUNK TRUCK
As told by Matt Nasty
The alarm clock buzzed incessantly that morning, my head still humming from the late hours before, unable to withstand the soul-sucking sounds of morning. I threw the clock furiously to the wall and reveled in its descent into the underworld of discarded electronic devices. “Who needs ‘em?” Nevertheless, I lost my substandard warehouse job that day and haven’t had time since.
“Hey.”
Slowly, I rolled over and wiped the sludge from my eyes. My mouth was crusted shut at the corners.
“Hey, you, whatda fuckya doin’ here? I done told your ass.”
I tried to focus, but in between violent coughs, bouts of vomiting, and the overwhelming stench of urine, I was, needless to say, strugglin’.
“Hey, yo, Truck!”
Finally able to manage my lazy eyes, I saw it was that heap o’ shit, Officer Laudermilk.
A real dick.
“You’re a fuggin’ mess,” he said and walked on. He and I had many encounters, such as this one, but he would never take me down. Why he didn’t, don’t know, but in a way I resented him for it. I think he was one of those ex-high school jock types, sick minded motherfucker cops that got off on other people’s suffering, self-imposed or otherwise. Hell, taking me to jail would have me showered and fed,
“Sometimes, the streets is hard, but always try to withhold the victim card.” A mantra I picked up a while back from a fellow boxcar traveler. I think he went by Thomas, but I remember him best for the seemingly never-ending bottle of booze contained in an old boot that he never even wore. Somewhat of a southwestern man-purse, I suppose.
My stomach’s a mess, my mind is at ease, old crow on my shoulder, my favorite disease. Sometimes found to be an old ball and chain, I still can travel, but my speed, how it has changed.
Onward through the fog, I’ll stumble when I stroll. Money’s low and friendships few, well, not much else to do.
“Drink?” she asked, and extended her trembling hand.
It was cold that night.
Never had I seen this bird before, but I warm my sunken cheeks with whoever offers. It is a blessing amongst vagrants such as we. Without so much as a grunt, I snatched the plastic bottle from her frail hands and pounded its rank contents.
“Mmm. I’m Truck.”
A smirk stretched across my face as she called me an asshole.
“I Yams What I Yams.”
A few hours (and many slurs) later, despite her ultimate disdain for me, our unkempt bodies soiled her blanket. I think her name to be Linda? Where was I?

Steady Rollin’
-D.T.

…to be continued.

THANKS TO THIS MONTH’S CONTRIBUTORS:
-Matt Nasty
-Mike Wax
-Scary Patti
-Captain Cookie Chaos
-Jesusid

COMING SOON (OUT NOW):
FROM PLASTIC FACT RECORDS
NAZI SCUM BURN IN HELL
NEW 7 INCH ABOUT EP FROM
BLOOD STAIN REALITY

ISSUE I

2008-03-02T00:37:00.000-08:00

plastic fact eaters IS :

-ALL ORIGINAL
-100% INDEPENDENTLY RUN
-PRO CHOICE
-ANTI-WAR
-WEARY OF POLITICS
-SPITEFUL TOWARDS THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA
-INTERESTED IN ALTERNATIVE VIEWPOINTS

plastic fact eaters IS NOT :

-TIED TO OR AFFILIATED WITH ANY RELIGIOUS GROUP
-FOR PROFIT
-RACIST, SEXIST, OR HOMOPHOBIC
-BIG ON FUNDAMENTALISM
-ELITIST
-IMPERIALIST, CAPITALIST OR COMMUNIST
-MASOGYNISTIC OR PATRIARCHAL
-NECESSARILY VEGAN, VEGETARIAN OR STRAIGHT-EDGE
-WORRIED ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK
-INTERESTED IN PARTICIPATING IN ANY SOCIETY THAT OPRESSES
ANYONE IN ANY WAY. FUCK THE CLASSES. ENJOY!

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR-CHIEF :

HOW. Many moons ago, when I stopped smoking Heap-Big Peace Pipe for a short time, I had the idea start up a 'zine. I was full of ideas and excess energy at the time. Needless to say, my aunt came down from Oregon with some insane homegrown, and off the wagon I fell. Three years and two bands later, I'm finally getting that ball rolling.
I must add that the idea of a self-produced and distributed 'zine was greatly inspired by the incredibly ballsy -[*editor's corrective addition : and "ovary-y"] folks at FM 96.9. When "professional media fails to bring legitimate news stories relevant to your community, be your own media. Do it yourself. In the words of Jello Biafra, "Don't hate the media, become the media."
I will do my best as your elected dictoral editor-chief to keep this shit readable and interesting. If it doesn't hold up to your super elite punk rock standards, fuck you. You didn't pay any money for this piece of shit. If you don't like it, start your own mag, motherfuckers.
As far as regularity goes, I work full time -[*editor's note: anybody hiring??!]-, play in two bands and I'm generally lazy, plus I'm always broke (hence, the ads). Plus, good content takes time to gather and sift through. We're shooting for a monthly publication here, so it will come out when it comes out.
Interviews and half-assed reviews is what we do. We'll lace it up with some other fun shit, too.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go scrape my bong stem.
XOXOXO-Jesus-id
Special thanks to Vishions, Reptile City & Tenacious Ink for sporting the cause!

PLASTIC FACT REVIEW
Shows, CDs, Vinyl, Demos, and Reviewed to the best of our recollection.
Contributors: Matt Nasty, Jesus-id

PARIAH*THE AMERICANS*ABJECT
@ S. D. Food Not Bombs House Saturday, July 21st

Abject played a two-man set. I missed it. I heard the Americans ripping through their D.I.Y. Anarcho-punk set from outside. Then I went into the house to check out the touring act : Pariah.
This little unsuspecting trio from Arizona is proof that looks can be deceiving. The drummer looks like the guy that plays the Mac on the Apple vs. IBM commercials. The bassist seemed like a veteran punker, and the guitarist/lead vocalist had a grungy surfer-skater vibe.
Their sound was harsh enough to get a few of the shaved-head jockish drunk punks all riled up for a bit. Their riffs are basic pop-punk, very simple and catchy, smeared with phased-out guitar and very raw, scratchy vocals. The drum style is remeniscent of Dave Grohl a' la Incesticide, but a little sloppier.
Their overall sound is similar to the Germs, Rudimentary Peni, and the weirder side of Nirvana.
I was intrigued enough to shell out five bucks for their self-released ep, "Unethical," which is no disappointment. Plus, I felt good showing support to a deserving out-of-town band. I bought the CD off the bassist, who was super grateful. If you're into a little off punk rock with a raw, nasty side, definetly check these guys out! -Jesusid

Bartender's Bible CD Release Party
Friday, August 17th at the Whistle Stop, South Park

On a Friday night in a hot steamy bar packed with hipsters, scenesters and Rock 'n' Rollers, I waited for my favorite country band, Bartender's Bible, to Hit the floor and get down in front of the wall with the big locomotive painted on it.
Gathered on Fern Street in South Park, the Whistle Stop is the spot for all the anticipation. It was definetly worth the dirty looks from the regulars to get down dancing on a Friday night.
Midway through the set lead vocalist Jason pulled off his guitar after endless trouble keeping in tune, and sent it hurling across the room.
"If the shit ain't working, throw the thing in the Goddam trash!" he declared comically, although obviously frustrated.
Highlights included the ethereal "Desert Song," "Every Time I Close My Eyes" with it's salsa flare and strange man on the saw (from Black Heart Procession), and of course the Johnny Cash/June Carter duet, "Jackson."
This band is incredible and features a wide array of instruments, all played with mad skill and ingenuity.
Bartender's Bible has a dirty, rocking Southwestern vibe that is easily digestable for even the non-country lover. I recommend everybody get a dose of this band and catch a set at the next available time. -Jesusid.

THE WASTRELS*THE MICE*THE QUITTERS*DIRTY PANTIES
Saturday, August 11th, at Chasers, North Park

This show rocked my fucking balls off! Dirty Panties hails from Vegas, a quartet of cute little punk rock girls. The lead singer is an ex-biology teacher. They tore it up wit a blazing set of pop-punk, followed by fellow Vegas thrashers : the Quitters.
The Quitters play a grimy mix of punk rock and hardcore laced with tripped out jams comparable to the likes of Tool. They nailed an awesome cover of "Refused Are Fucking Dead."
The Mice fucking rock and I love Rob Logic. Period. Rock and fucking Roll.
When the Wastrels hit the tiny stage, everybody went crazy. They are so damn fast, people were flying everywhere. This show captured the essence of what San Diego punk shows should be about : having a good time with a bunch of friends, not trying to out-tough each other in the pit.
Oh yeah, there was crowd-surfing going on during the Wastrels' set, a deadly feat inside the cramped Chasers dance floor. -Jesusid.

REAGAN YOUTH
MOUTH SEWN SHUT*DOOMSDAY HOUR*BASURA
Monday, August 13th, 2007
STATIC LOUNGE (San Diego, CA)

Shrouded in hookah and cigarette smoke, steamy with adolescent perspiration, in a little lounge on Broadway, Downtown [San Diego], I saw a show that was never supposed to happen: infamous Commie punk rock quartet Reagan Youth. Freshly reunited after roughly two decades of inactivity, the band had come together again with Pat Distraction of the New York out fit Distraction standing in on lead vocals.
Local sewer punks Basura opened the show, [vocalist] Sid stomping around like a statuesque Trojan warrior. Basura's mix of crust punk, hardcore, reggae and big hair speed metal proves to be quite unique.
Doomsday Hour plays a grimy cocktail of thrashy death-crust punk that is very loud and heavy and subconsciously provokes the listener to consult Revelations in the Bible. Everywhere these guys play, I mysteriously spend too much money on vinyl at the merch table.
Mouth Sewn Shut is hardcore from Boston, which features members of Toxic Narcotic. We left to smoke a blunt around the corner, and when we returned, Mouth Sewn Shut were tearing up the stage. I honestly cannot say enough good things about these guys. Audience participation is a big part of the live show of this band. "You're lucky they gave me such a short mic cord, or I'd be on top of you guys," remarked vocalist, Bill. Their blend of hardcore punk and reggae is quite brutal and pleasurable. I bought Pandemic=Solution on CD and Doomed Future Today on vinyl and the guys from Mouth Sewn Shut were very courteous. They are my new favorite band!
As soon as Reagan Youth hit the stage (they opened with "Degenerated"), one of the P.A. speakers came crashing down. The crowd was rabid, the band was together, sounding a little extra heavy, and more relevant now than ever before. They played nearly every song they ever wrote, and despite Pat Distraction's tour-strained vocals. Dave's spirit was definitely in the room.
After the show (they ended with the beginning: title anthem Reagan Youth), we were walking to the car when we came across Reagan Youth guitarist Paul Cripple wandering in the middle of the street with his arms full of gear. We asked if he needed directions, and he asked for a cigarette.
“My singer's all pissed off at me ‘cause his voice is fucked up, and I promised this kid we would do a song, and he didn’t want to do it. ‘It doesn’t sound the same.’ Fuck, it’s fuckin’ twenty years later, it’s not supposed to sound the same! So I’m gonna go over to my friend’s van, ‘cause at least I can do some drugs over there. Thanks for the smoke, man.”
I told him it was super cool that they came out to San Diego because a lot of kids thought they would never be able to ever see Reagan Youth live. This was probably my number one show of the year. Not only did I get to see a classic punk band, but I also got to shoot the shit with a classic punk guitarist who is still in top form. And, for the record, Pat Distraction did as good a job as anyone else could have. -Jesusid

PLASTIC-O-MATICS*TIM RALDO & THE FILTHY FUKS*
NEVERLAND RANCH HANDS*NOISEGOD
Friday, August 17th at Chasers

Beer bottles, boobs, chainsaws and guns. True punk rawk spectacle in its rawest form were the Plastic-O-Matics, a tribute to punk pioneers the Plasmatics. This was hard to envision. Really? Wendy-O? Could it be done?
The activity presented on the Chasers stage was most likely illegal in most places and would definitely be considered offensive to your average suburban-dwelling consumer. A dirty sailor such as myself couldn't get enough. Following fellow fiends Tim Raldo & the Filthy Fuks, the Plastic-O-Matics ripped into a set full of Plasmatics greats and all the added debachury expected from a good classic punk show.
Wendy-"Faux" (real name Kelly) enthralled the crowd with nudity, in which they responded by giving her a much-needed beer bath.
Make-up smeared and breasts exposed, the vocals came at a firey pace, and her manic growl never waned.
"Where's my gun?" she asked. I didn't fear for my life, but the following penetration left me with some questions.
Is it loaded?
This show was not for the faint of heart, but any fan of Wendy-O, punk and good-old-fashioned entertainment and exploitation were sorely missed. Catch them if you can. Other highlights of the night were provided by Noisegod and the Neverland Ranch Hands, respectively.
(POST SHOW: Personally offended friends by spitting on them and calling them cunts... Sorry for that one... Later, I pissed all over a lady-friend's bedroom. Ha ha!) -Mattnasty

RELEASES

REVENGE CLUB - Your Underground

(Recorded by Sean Lawson, Mastered by Mike Kamoo)
This is West Coast punk right from the start. Grungy riffs complemented by Amy's cat-scratch vocals, with a breakdown almost similar to a Guns N' Roses riff, but meaner. Their sound is distinctly Rock and Roll, a little poppy but still angst-ridden and mean, and almost, dare I say, Pacific-Northwestern. -Jesusid

PARIAH - Unethical EP

(Recorded by Ryan Butler)
I am a fan of this band. They were intriguing enough live for me to buy their EP release on CD-R, and I was not disappointed. In fact, this little item has become a regular part of my music picks at work and in the car. It is disappointingly short. This nasty little CD is very catchy and raw as fuck at the same time. I recommend to any fans of Nirvan, Rudimentary Peni, Crass, the Germs, etc... to immediately purchase this CD if you ever happen to come across it (which you probably never will). If you have a chance to see them, do it. And buy their EP. Support these guys, they're working hard. -Jesusid.

BARTENDER'S BIBLE - Rimrock Sessions

Tones of home, some slender rest music resonated with soulfulness rarely heard these days. An excellent effort by Jason and his band. This album represents some of the best in modern hick-grass I've heard in a while. From the true to life, upbeat "Eviction" (quite funny), to the more somber "Driving Song" (my personal favorite), this record stays true to its twangy roots. A good blend of good ol' style country a' la John Cash (Check out their cover of "Jackson," Great!), and my favorite red-headed stranger, to a more modern likeness to fellow country-rockers, Drag the River. This album does not disappoint. Any fan of honest-to-goodness music should check this one out! Viva la Country! -Mattnasty

DARY TERRIBLE'S Corridors of Tragedy

...(eyes open)... It's early/Or is it late? I'm feeling tired. There has been a change in the atmosphere. "Corridors" listens like a movie playing in my head. The ultimate soundtrack as if it was written with a rad screenplay in mind (possibly starring a strung-out James Dean), whose admittance would be well worth the ducketts. My buddy Jeezus passed me this jewel to review and it was so delectably different. I had to play it numerous times to fully decipher what I was hearing. A very earthy, yet surreal underbelly comes through strong on this recording, remeniscent of Beck's One Foot in the Grave, or any other early to mid-career Tom Waits album. Corridors of Tragedy definetly holds its own as a custom piece of ART. If I tried to summarize this album as a whole, my ramble would roam around aimlessly (involving night-time desert drives, copious amounts of pills, the lonesome loner syndrome, including "Where is she?"-type questions, mixed with random bouts of hysteria, etc...) and would take forever, so my suggestion is lend your own ears to this one. Personal favorites include "Invasion" and "Epitaph." Hang your flesh at www.myspace.com/daryterrible -Mattnasty

ASK RUBY ANYTHING

Hey, kids-
When presented with the opportunity to be a part of this fine publication, I had several ideas on how to approach this, and what I could offer...

My first idea was "Ask a Hooker." Mr. Matt Nasty and I will be interviewing real live hookers on their opinions about current affairs, politics, pop culture and whatnot... Stay tuned for that!!! It should prove to be very informative.
I thought to myself, "That's kind of cool, but why not have people ask me stuff?"

As a self-proclaimed know-it-all and smart ass, I thought this could be quite entertaining... I am a jack of all trades and consider myself to be knowledgable in many areas, from the beauty industry, to food, pop culture, music, sex, and random useless facts... I figure since I have a plethora of information I gladly give away, even at the most inappropriate times, why not do it for a good cause, keeping you, gentle reader, up to date on what's in my brain...

So basically consider me a foul-mouthed Ann Landers with a punk rock, go-fuck-yourself edge.... Ask me anything, seriously....Anything.
If I don't know I will find out in my never-ending quest to know as much as I can.

No subjects are off limits. I am a very honest person, so bring it on!!!

Each publication I will pick the top 3 or so questions, and if you get picked, you win the satisfaction of knowing that I dedicated a few minutes of my life to serve YOU!

Contact me at askrubyanything@yahoo.com

For those of you who don't get published, I will do my best to answer your emails, just to prove that I really do know everything...

Hugs and Kisses
-RUBY

If you would like to contribute to Plastic Fact Eaters :

Drop us a line at www.myspace.com/plasticfacteaters

We are mainly looking for show reviews, CD, vinyl and demo reviews, etc., but we are pretty much open to anything, because we fucking do what we want. If you are planning on submitting an article, please try to keep it reasonably short (read some of our reviews if you need an example), and try not to talk too much shit. Assholes will be scrutinized! If you don't like it, start your own 'zine.

RANTS AND RAVES WELCOME
'Til next time, long live vinyl!
FUCK OFF! Love,
PlasticFactEaters