ISSUE II A.K.A. III

ISSUE II (A.K.A. ISSUE III)
FUCK THANKSGIVING, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
“Thanks for giving me what I didn’t want…” –M.D.C.
(ALTERNATE COVER: “Fear is a powerful weapon against human development” –CRASS)

PLASTIC FACT EATERS IS:
-HUNGRY FOR KNOWLEDGE
-STILL NOT WORRIED ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK
-ADDICTED TO CONTROLLED SUBSTANCES
-SPONSERED BY BLACK WAX
-IN LOVE WITH THE WORLD
-DIY, SEX POSITIVE, PRO CHOICE, PRO GAY, ANTI-FUNDAMENTAL
-THE BEST MOTHERFUCKIN’ ‘ZINE IN S.D.

PLASTIC FACT EATERS IS NOT:
-CENSORED IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM
-AFRAID TO JAM OUT WITH OUR CLAMS OUT, ROCK OUT WITH OUR COCKS OUT, OR GET IN THE PITS WITH OUR TITS, RESPECTIVELY
-FAMILY-FRIENDLY
-FOR PROFIT
-EASILY INFLUENCED BY THE IDEALS OF OTHERS
-MAINSTREAM, BY ANY MEANS
-FOOLED BY CORPORATE MEDIA AND THEIR MIND CONTROL TACTICS
-SPORTS FRIENDLY, EITHER
-AFRAID TO USE CERTAIN ASPECTS OF THE SYSTEM AGAINST THE SYSTEM
-INTERESTED IN LISTENING TO SALES REPS TALK ABOUT HOW COOL THEY ARE
-ASHAMED OF A FUCKING THING

THANKS FOR PICKING UP THIS DIRTY RAG! PFE OCT ’07
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
CONTRIBUTE:
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/PLASTICFACTEATERS
PLASTICFACTEATERS@GMAIL.COM
BANDS: HIT US UP IF YOU WANT US TO REVIEW YOUR SHIT.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR AND CHIEF THIEF:
HI EVERYBODY. ALL I HAVE BEEN HEARING FOR A MONTH AND A HALF HAS BEEN, “WHERE’S THE NEW ISSUE OF PLASTIC FACT EATERS?” HERE IT FINALLY IS. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO CONTRIBUTED. THIS PIECE OF SHIT OWES ITS EXISTENCE TO MIKE WAX, AND LEE FROM TENACIOUS INK. MOST OF ALL, THANK YOU, FOR READING THIS AND EXPRESSING INTEREST. –JESUSID

R. I. P. MIKEY OFFENDER – PUNK ROCK/FUNK/METAL/H.C. PIONEER
(M.D.C./D.R.I.) x REST IN PEACE x

PLASTIC FACT REVIEW (HALLOWEEN EDITION)
CONTRIBUTONG WRITERS:
JESUSID – EDITOR-CHIEF
MATT NASTY – SOME OLD DIRTY SAILOR
MIKE WAX – OWNER & OPERATOR, BLACK WAX SKATE SHOP
CDS*VINYL*DEMOS*DVDS*SHOWS


SHOWS

EVE WHITE EVE BLACK*CHUCK IT UP*NIKKI & THE MONGOLOID
AUGUST 31ST, CITY HEIGHTS FREESKOOL
This night, I took nine zanex. I was fucked. Bad idea. Still, I had a really good time. I really don’t recommend driving in that condition. I don’t recommend taking that many pills. Anyways…
Miraculously, I arrived alive and unscathed at the City Heights Freeskool, a co-op house that offers free classes from Spanish to screen printing, and also features a ‘zine library. The show was held inside a small, detached garage which doubles as a screening room where attendees watch films.
I watched one half of acoustic duo Chuck It Up (I missed the first Chuck). Nikki & the Mongoloid are a couple of radical sistas from Ohio, rhyming about women’s rights and independence, organic farming and free thought and movement. They rocked the spot.
Eve White Eve Black play grungy garage rock a’ la Siouxsie. They are pretty spooky and I like them. I accidentally knocked the door open while they were playing because I was all fucked up. Whoops! –Jesusid


DOGSFLESH(UK)*LUGERS*NOISEGOD*
TIM RALDO & THE FILTHY FUKS*DREADED SOLUTION
Dreaded Solution needs a new drummer. Noisegod played a particularly blistering set, Rowland speed-picking his bass, vocalist Molly flinging herself across the hardwood dance floor and screaming rabidly. They ended their set by kicking over their equipment and lighting off smoke bombs and firecrackers and throwing them into the small Sunday night crowd.
Tim Raldo & the Filthy Fuks sounded super heavy, and played a lot of new material that reflects the band’s new, more serious approach.
We all had a blast slamming to I.B./E.C. speedsters, the Lugers…
Dogsflesh, a classic punk rock band from the UK, hit the stage in a fury of sweat, angst, and thick English accents. They doused Fannies with a set of hard punk anthems fueled by alcohol, rage and chaos.
The load-in doors first had to be wedged shut with a broom handle, then chained shut and bursting at the seams.
“These doors used to work before we started throwing shows here. We did this!” shouted hosting promoter (L.S.D.) and Noisegod bassist Rowland Bluntz. Somebody broke a forty-ounce bottle in the middle of the pit, adding to the danger. (What an asshole!)
This show was a really good time, and I’m glad I stuck around!

RAT SALAD (DALLAS,TX)*BASURA*NEVERLAND RANCH HANDS
SEPTEMBER 26th, ZOMBIE LOUNGE
“I gotta push my guts in,” exclaimed Stephan from his drum throne, colostomy bag at his side. This fuckin’ guy not only beat some serious drum skin, sand with a ferociousness reminiscent of the late Chuck Schulder (Death), but did it all with a raging hernia. I happened upon this unassuming, soft-spoken fella in the back parking lot of the Zombie Lounge, while I was working on my bowl o’ schwag and my second bottle of Blue Moon (dropped the first one). I pulled a plastic penis squirt gun (filled with beer) on him. “FREEZE!” We didn’t smoke together, but he seemed to be pot-friendly.
Rat Salad hails from Dallas, after originally forming in San Antonio. Cute little punk chick, Mary, shredded guitar and added backing vocals that shocked. This little girl can scream! Vocal range hit screaming highs and demonic lows. Very cool. Oscar handled bass. The sound they put out is best described as gore-punk/speed metal, with ferocious vocals and blast beats up your metal-loving ass. Remember Scatterbrain, well add a dash of Slayer and a social conscious tearing apart Wal-Mart on “Corporations,” (from their Spider Records release, RUINED) and you have just ordered a Rat Salad. If they hit your town, or you make the trek to Texas, check ‘em out. Hopefully, Stephan’s guts will be back inside his body. –Matt Nasty

SUBHUMANZ*MDC*WITCHHUNT*CAREER SOLDIERS
September 6th, SOMA San Diego
This was the day after my birthday. Super cool show. We arrived just in time to catch Witchhunt’s set. They are incredibly tight and very socially outspoken, which I always appreciate. They seem very aware of the clashes between DIY punk ethics and the music industry. I believe they are from Boston. I was glad I caught their set.
This was my second time watching MDC. Although last time was a much smaller show, they sounded tighter. They played Millions of Dead Cops and More Dead Cops almost entirely, as well as many off their latest, Magnus Dominus Corpus.
Dave Dictor pulled up his sleeve to show off his Foghorn Leghorn tattoo during the vegan anthem, “Chicken Squawk.” We only stayed for a few Subhumanz songs, because we wanted to get stoned. Good show, FUCK SOMA! –Jesusid

NO BORDERS CAMP BENEFIT
DR BIRD*IMPULSE*THE AMERICANS
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, OCTOBER 2007
Dr. Bird is male-female vocal harmonies, guitar/keyboard-based indie rock. They are cute and good. They seem to represent all things joyous about playing music. Impulse is from Chula Vista. They are a bunch of tough little Latino HXC punk kids who play fast and loud. The crusty kids were pleased to get down and dirty in the dusty East County backyard where the benefit was held. The Americans, originally from Hawaii, transplanted to San Diego and have tearing up the Anarcho-punk scene ever since. They are very tight and respectively DIY. Drummer Dan features creative fills and infinite stamina. This band is fucking awesome. I really hope they stick around.
Anyways, the cops showed, bands waited, played again and the cops came back. Show over. Abject (who was supposed to play after the Americans) moved the party to another house, closer to the city. Fun show! –Jesusid


PRODUCT REVIEWS BY MIKE WAX:
MYSTERY DVD – Black & White
Mystery’s first video release. Short and sweet. Only $10.99 at Black Wax. The Team has always been sick, and they finally have the chance to show it. They do not disappoint! Highlights include San Diego’s own Jimmy Carlin. It’s time this kid got recognized. Congrats. Jimmy! Ryan Smith is amazing. Ryan has always been one of my favorites. Switch front board on the notorious Skyline 16! This is a short video, but it gets right to the point. Worth every penny! –Mike Wax

TOMMY SANDOVAL SIGNATURE FLEECE
I hope everyone can see how sick this is. Made by FALLEN, it’s a hooded fleece with pot leaves all over it. Yes, it is GREEN! I’m afraid it’s going to be hard to see the sickness of this hoody in a black and white ‘zine. Plus, I’m afraid that the image may be too small and once it is blown up, it’ll be all pixilated and look like shit. But trust me, this hoody is 100% SICK AS FUCK! It is a must have for any smokers that like to represent Ganja. It is a Tommy Sandoval signature piece that represents Tommy’s lifestyle. Besides being one of the most innovative and recognizable pros of today… Tommy has a lime (I heard) that is decked out in black lights and velvet. Tommy is from Chula Vista. You can often find him skating at the Chula Vista skatepark. This hoody goes for $59.99 at any skate shop that has the balls (or ovaries) to carry it. –Mike Wax

I would like to use this space to say that you MUST support these kinds of magazines. Locally owned and operated companies are getting fewer and fewer. The corpos are drowning out our society. Culture and creativity are being lost. Don’t let them water you down! Support local companies. When I say support, I mean spend your money at local places. –Mike Wax


RELEASES
WE REALLY LIKE TO REVIEW SHIT!

WITCHHUNT – BLOOD RED STATES
FISTOLO RECORDS
When the majority of your favorite bands start sporting something new, chances are, you should check it out. BLOOD RED STATES tears into a fit of fuzzy, shimmering guitars, pounding drums and screechy male-female vocals. Issues range from ignorance, oppression, war, alienation, and more. This band sounds like Filth and Fugazi had a daughter together. –Jesusid

I OBJECT – TEACHING REVENGE
ALTERNATIVE TENTACLES/BLACK NOISE RECORDS
This record is SO loaded with fat riffs and awesome melodies. Although I Object comes out of New York, their sound is distinctly West Coast. They remind me of Vitamin X at times, with songs split between classic rock and chaotic hardcore. Vocalist Barb has a knack for anthemic melodies of nasty punk. Good record! -Jesusid

REGULATIONS – DIFFERENT NEEDS 7” EP
The first time I heard these guys, it was on the Havoc Records First 15 Years compilation. This could have come out in the ‘60’s, 70’s, 80’s or 90’s. They have such a classic garage punk sound. Vocals are dry and adolescent, similar to early Rollins. The guitar is overdriven just enough, giving it a somewhat British feel. Makes me think of drunken High School summer nights. –Jesusid

SAINT JUDE – 2007 CD-R DEMO
I snagged this from the Mouth Sewn Shut merch table at the Reagan Youth show. It starts out deceivingly stoner-rockish, and rips into heavy speedy hardcore. Growling vocals with Sabbath-esque breakdowns. Not bad for a freebie. Recommended to fans of Black Sabbath, Kyuss, Kylesa, etc… -Jesusid

CHRISTIAN CLUB – FINAL CONFESSION 7” EP
SORRY STATE RECORDS
For a long time, Christian Club was my favorite band from S.D. I was in a punk-friendly record store stronghold in Oakland when I ran across this beast of an EP. The cover is graced with an image of a man with a wooden cross being shoved down his throat. Fancy artwork by Daniel Lupton. This record has songs that were not on the original demo or the first 7-inch, as well as an alternative version of Jesus Fish Assholes and a new recording of Fuck Jehovah Witness. Exciting! Recorded by Jeff Forest. CHRISTIAN CLUB IS DEAD! –Jesusid

ABJECT – NO FLAGS NO NATIONS
The ever-effective team of Rob Logic and Jeff Forest strikes again! I was going to review the CD-R demo until this fell into my lap. Lucky for me. This CD sounds amazing. Dan’s drumming is profoundly fierce, and Sean’s vocals sound like a starving dog. Vic showcases his skills through an impossibly lengthy bass lead. Nick Skum’s solos are energetic and complement these anarchist anthems. Check out the unlisted Flux of Pink Indians cover. Keep an eye out for these guys in the near future. –Jesusid

MOUTH SEWN SHUT – DOOMED FUTURE TODAY
PROFANE EXISTENCE
The second release from Toxic Narcotic’s bastard child, Doomed Future Today provides an apocalyptic soundtrack of hardcore and reggae that pairs well with the unsettling times we live in. With subject matter ranging from government surveillance to Armageddon, this LP is ripe with speedy hardcore punk, gnarly breakdowns and reggae grooves that are waits-esque. –Jesusid

THE LUGERS – 20 SHOTS FIRED
This disc combines One Shot, One Kill with Onward to Battle for a full length of hardcore anger and hatred. These guys get a bad rap because of drama that often plagues their shows, but they are the nicest bunch of bald-headed hardasses I know. 20 Shot Fired rocks your balls, punk! -Jesusid

TWO GALLANTS – SELF-TITLED
SADDLE CREEK RECORDS
Another hauntingly beautiful effort from Adam and Tyson, known together as Two Gallants. The self-titled, third full length is chock full of raw melodies and dirty poetics full of historic facts, and human emotion that would presumably be reserved for an Old West gunslinger. Their blend of acoustics and energetic percussion is anything but run of the mill. The sound drifts high and low through the rustic plains via Neil Young X Violent Femmes. A very raw rock energy is also undeniable. Songs riddled with aggression, addiction, affection and ultimately utter disappointment seem to flow effortlessly to the ear. I will definitely say that this album is not for the manic-depressive or the emotionally challenged. These are some sad old somabitch go kill yourself tunes, but damn, they are good ones. Track eight, “Fly Low Carrion Crow,” personal favorite. Anyways. Try something new and check out this or any other Two Gallants releases. Seeing them perform later this month should prove to be very review-worthy. So, until then, go grab a bottle, light a smoke and enjoy! [See also: 2004 – The Throes, 2007 – Scenery For a Farewell] –Matt Nasty

THE AMERICANS – SELF-TITLED
Yet another shining gem out of Rob Logic’s mystery shop, this release from San Diego-based Hawaii transplants, the Americans, is premium anarcho-punk. They rock some real pissed off hardcore punk laced with classic samples, clever stops and breakdowns. The Cell Phone Song in an instant classic. “Hello? Can you hear me? I’m on my cell phone!”
The Americans appear despicably degenerate in contrast with their band title. Their sound is akin to Aus Rotten and Crass, with a Southern California twist. This album is a must for any modern punk fan. My only complaint is, as always, that it is entirely too short.
Watch out for a three-way split with Cathect and Abject in the not-too-distant future.
Final conclusion: After much apprehension and investigation, I love this band! God bless the Americans! -Jesusid


MADAM NOCTURNE
PFE’s own Matt Nasty interviews the prostitutes of El Cajon Blvd.
*DISCLAIMER: We at Plastic Fact Eaters DO NOT condone the exploitation of ANYONE! On the other hand, if someone wants to either provide or purchase a product or service, they should be able to safely do so, as long as nobody is getting hurt and everything’s legit. We also don’t recommend harassing working girls, because despite what they might say, they are always a phone call away from someone-with-a-gun. These girls were willing to talk, so print we shall! (Jesusid)

GIRL # 1
NAME: “Sensation”
AGE: 21
FROM: San Diego
PIMP RELATION: none (“Lone-Wolfin’”)*
HOW LONG HAVE YOU WORKED? First night*
LOOKS: cute, nice ass, red top, white bottom
RATES: All night - $500/East County - $300/Point Loma - $200
WHY HOOK? Hates jobs, loves money, loves to fuck
WHAT ABOUT THE WAR? It sucks
CLOSING STATEMENT: “Fuck da black man. I’ll be back, white honey.”
NOTE: She came back

GIRL # 2
NAME: “Yvette”
AGE: 35
FROM: San Diego
PIMP RELATION: none (Renegador”)*
RATES: Head - $80/Sex - $80/Both - $150
WHAT ABOUT THE WAR? “I don’t know about it
CLOSING STATEMENT: “Fuck the world.”

*=BELIEVED TO BE LYING

SPECIAL! JEN INTERVIEWS A PIMP!
PIMP: Where are you from?
JEN: Detroit.
PIMP: My boy is from Detroit.
JEN (TO PIMP’S BOY): If you’re from Detroit, why are you wearing a New York hat?
PIMP’S BOY: If you’re from Detroit, you should know that you have to match.
JEN: Can I have your pimp hat?
PIMP: No.
(Jen tried to take the pimp’s drunk friend’s hat, but no go. The pimp wanted to take Jen to a hotel across the street, but Jen declined.)
THAT’S ALL FOR THIS MONTH. PEACE!

CAPITAN COOKIE CHAOS – RANTIN’ RECIPES
YUMMY VEGAN CHOCOLATE CAKE!

3c FLOUR (580g)
2c SUGAR* (450g)
6 tblsp COCOA (100g)
2 tsp BAKING SODA (10ml)
1 tsp SALT (5ml)
3/4c VEGGIE OIL (200ml)
2 tblsp VINEGAR (30ml)
2 tsp VANILLA (30ml)
2c COLD H20 (480ml)

Mix dry ingredients. Add wet ingredients. Stir until smooth. Bake 2 greased, floured pans @ 350 degrees for 30 min. Makes 1 two-layer 9in or 8in cake or one small sheet. When cool, frost.

AMAZING VEGAN CHOCOLATE FROSTING

6oz UNSWEETENED CHOCOLATE – THE HIGHER THE % COCOA, THE BETTER
4tsp MARGARINE
1/2c HOT H20
4c CONFECTIONSER’S SUGAR*
2tsp VANILLA EXTRACT
1-2tblsp VANILLA SOY MILK (OPTIONAL)

Over very low heat, melt margarine and chocolate. Transfer to a mixing bowl and add hot water. Stir in vanilla and then sugar till creamy. Add soy milk if needed to make creamier at end.

*PLAIN WHITE SUGAR IS PROCESSED WITH CHARCOAL MADE SOMETIMES, ACTUALLY QUITE OFTEN, WITH ANIMAL BONES. SO TECHNICALLY TO ENSURE YOUR VEGAN CAKE IS 100% DEAD ANIMAL FREE, USE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING: EVAPORATED CANE JUICE CRYSTALS, MAPLE SYRUP SUGAR, OR EVEN MAPLE SYRUP, CORN SYRUP, OR AGAVE NECTAR. BUT IF YOU USE A LIQUID SWEETNER YOU HAVE TO REDUCE YOUR AMOUNT OF LIQUID SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE RECIPE. THIS RECIPE CAME FROM SOME U.S. GRANGE DURING THE DEPRESSION WHEN EGGS WERE SCARCE. THE U.S. GRANGE IS ONE OF THE FIRST FORMAL ORGANIZATIONS TO ALLOW WOMEN IN AS MEMBERS EQUAL TO MEN. FOR MORE VEGAN RECIPES, TURN OFF YOUR FUCKIN’ CORPORATE COOKING NETWORK AND PICK UP A BOOK. OR GO TO A LOCAL CO-OP AND TALK TO A HUMAN BEING. ENJOY 
LOVE, EL CAP
CAPTAINCOOKIECHAOS@GMAIL.COM


Scary Patti’s
Potions & Notions
Plastic Fact Eaters
REQUESTS? Scarypatti@gmail.com

Earth Friendly Cleaning Potions
The environment is on our minds more and more. Chemicals aren’t always the best choice to use in our homes. We don’t want Jr. or the pets getting exposed to cleaning products unnecessarily. With this column, I will attempt to give you some other options to some of the harsh chemicals used for cleaning. I do keep bleach in a high place above my washer. Yes, bleach is harsh, but it is a good thing to have on hand in case of a disaster. You can disinfect drinking water with it. So don’t throw it out. Let me start with something simple. Since this is the October issue, let’s start with something appropriate. To remove bloodstains from upholstery, mix some cornstarch with cold water to make paste. Cover the stain with the mixture, rub lightly and let sit until mixture is dry. Repeat if needed. Here’s a great way to get burnt food out of a pan. Make sure the burnt food is damp and sprinkle liberally with baking soda over the burnt areas. Let stand for an hour or more. The burnt food should peel out of the pan without much work. Try a spoon to lift it out.

Beauty and Hygiene Hints
Skin Exfoliate
This is my favorite beauty secret. Instead of buying an expensive facial product, try this. A dab of Miracle Whip on skin is a great way to exfoliate dead skin. Rub a dab on skin and wait a few minutes, massage skin until dead skin rolls off. You can use this on your face, feet, elbows and knees.

Mineral Splash
To restore the natural pH balance to your skin, mix one part apple cider vinegar with two parts warm water. Splash your face with mixture or use a spray bottle to mist your skin. Let air dry. Be careful not to get in your eyes.

Deep Hair Conditioner
This one is great for hair. Guys and girls can benefit from a deep hair conditioning treatment. Apply ½ cup of mayonnaise to dry unwashed hair, cover with a plastic bag, and wait 15 minutes. Rinse a few times before shampooing.

Banana Facial
Mash ¼ banana until very creamy. Spread all over face and leave for 15-20 minutes before rinsing off with warm water followed by a dash of cold. Gently pat fry.



THE CHRONICLES OF
DRUNK TRUCK
As told by Matt Nasty
The alarm clock buzzed incessantly that morning, my head still humming from the late hours before, unable to withstand the soul-sucking sounds of morning. I threw the clock furiously to the wall and reveled in its descent into the underworld of discarded electronic devices. “Who needs ‘em?” Nevertheless, I lost my substandard warehouse job that day and haven’t had time since.
“Hey.”
Slowly, I rolled over and wiped the sludge from my eyes. My mouth was crusted shut at the corners.
“Hey, you, whatda fuckya doin’ here? I done told your ass.”
I tried to focus, but in between violent coughs, bouts of vomiting, and the overwhelming stench of urine, I was, needless to say, strugglin’.
“Hey, yo, Truck!”
Finally able to manage my lazy eyes, I saw it was that heap o’ shit, Officer Laudermilk.
A real dick.
“You’re a fuggin’ mess,” he said and walked on. He and I had many encounters, such as this one, but he would never take me down. Why he didn’t, don’t know, but in a way I resented him for it. I think he was one of those ex-high school jock types, sick minded motherfucker cops that got off on other people’s suffering, self-imposed or otherwise. Hell, taking me to jail would have me showered and fed,
“Sometimes, the streets is hard, but always try to withhold the victim card.” A mantra I picked up a while back from a fellow boxcar traveler. I think he went by Thomas, but I remember him best for the seemingly never-ending bottle of booze contained in an old boot that he never even wore. Somewhat of a southwestern man-purse, I suppose.
My stomach’s a mess, my mind is at ease, old crow on my shoulder, my favorite disease. Sometimes found to be an old ball and chain, I still can travel, but my speed, how it has changed.
Onward through the fog, I’ll stumble when I stroll. Money’s low and friendships few, well, not much else to do.
“Drink?” she asked, and extended her trembling hand.
It was cold that night.
Never had I seen this bird before, but I warm my sunken cheeks with whoever offers. It is a blessing amongst vagrants such as we. Without so much as a grunt, I snatched the plastic bottle from her frail hands and pounded its rank contents.
“Mmm. I’m Truck.”
A smirk stretched across my face as she called me an asshole.
“I Yams What I Yams.”
A few hours (and many slurs) later, despite her ultimate disdain for me, our unkempt bodies soiled her blanket. I think her name to be Linda? Where was I?

Steady Rollin’
-D.T.

…to be continued.


THANKS TO THIS MONTH’S CONTRIBUTORS:
-Matt Nasty
-Mike Wax
-Scary Patti
-Captain Cookie Chaos
-Jesusid

COMING SOON (OUT NOW):
FROM PLASTIC FACT RECORDS
NAZI SCUM BURN IN HELL
NEW 7 INCH ABOUT EP FROM
BLOOD STAIN REALITY