ISSUE I

plastic fact eaters IS :

-ALL ORIGINAL
-100% INDEPENDENTLY RUN
-PRO CHOICE
-ANTI-WAR
-WEARY OF POLITICS
-SPITEFUL TOWARDS THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA
-INTERESTED IN ALTERNATIVE VIEWPOINTS

plastic fact eaters IS NOT :

-TIED TO OR AFFILIATED WITH ANY RELIGIOUS GROUP
-FOR PROFIT
-RACIST, SEXIST, OR HOMOPHOBIC
-BIG ON FUNDAMENTALISM
-ELITIST
-IMPERIALIST, CAPITALIST OR COMMUNIST
-MASOGYNISTIC OR PATRIARCHAL
-NECESSARILY VEGAN, VEGETARIAN OR STRAIGHT-EDGE
-WORRIED ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK
-INTERESTED IN PARTICIPATING IN ANY SOCIETY THAT OPRESSES
ANYONE IN ANY WAY. FUCK THE CLASSES. ENJOY!

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR-CHIEF :

HOW. Many moons ago, when I stopped smoking Heap-Big Peace Pipe for a short time, I had the idea start up a 'zine. I was full of ideas and excess energy at the time. Needless to say, my aunt came down from Oregon with some insane homegrown, and off the wagon I fell. Three years and two bands later, I'm finally getting that ball rolling.
I must add that the idea of a self-produced and distributed 'zine was greatly inspired by the incredibly ballsy -[*editor's corrective addition : and "ovary-y"] folks at FM 96.9. When "professional media fails to bring legitimate news stories relevant to your community, be your own media. Do it yourself. In the words of Jello Biafra, "Don't hate the media, become the media."
I will do my best as your elected dictoral editor-chief to keep this shit readable and interesting. If it doesn't hold up to your super elite punk rock standards, fuck you. You didn't pay any money for this piece of shit. If you don't like it, start your own mag, motherfuckers.
As far as regularity goes, I work full time -[*editor's note: anybody hiring??!]-, play in two bands and I'm generally lazy, plus I'm always broke (hence, the ads). Plus, good content takes time to gather and sift through. We're shooting for a monthly publication here, so it will come out when it comes out.
Interviews and half-assed reviews is what we do. We'll lace it up with some other fun shit, too.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go scrape my bong stem.
XOXOXO-Jesus-id
Special thanks to Vishions, Reptile City & Tenacious Ink for sporting the cause!

PLASTIC FACT REVIEW
Shows, CDs, Vinyl, Demos, and Reviewed to the best of our recollection.
Contributors: Matt Nasty, Jesus-id

PARIAH*THE AMERICANS*ABJECT
@ S. D. Food Not Bombs House Saturday, July 21st

Abject played a two-man set. I missed it. I heard the Americans ripping through their D.I.Y. Anarcho-punk set from outside. Then I went into the house to check out the touring act : Pariah.
This little unsuspecting trio from Arizona is proof that looks can be deceiving. The drummer looks like the guy that plays the Mac on the Apple vs. IBM commercials. The bassist seemed like a veteran punker, and the guitarist/lead vocalist had a grungy surfer-skater vibe.
Their sound was harsh enough to get a few of the shaved-head jockish drunk punks all riled up for a bit. Their riffs are basic pop-punk, very simple and catchy, smeared with phased-out guitar and very raw, scratchy vocals. The drum style is remeniscent of Dave Grohl a' la Incesticide, but a little sloppier.
Their overall sound is similar to the Germs, Rudimentary Peni, and the weirder side of Nirvana.
I was intrigued enough to shell out five bucks for their self-released ep, "Unethical," which is no disappointment. Plus, I felt good showing support to a deserving out-of-town band. I bought the CD off the bassist, who was super grateful. If you're into a little off punk rock with a raw, nasty side, definetly check these guys out! -Jesusid

Bartender's Bible CD Release Party
Friday, August 17th at the Whistle Stop, South Park

On a Friday night in a hot steamy bar packed with hipsters, scenesters and Rock 'n' Rollers, I waited for my favorite country band, Bartender's Bible, to Hit the floor and get down in front of the wall with the big locomotive painted on it.
Gathered on Fern Street in South Park, the Whistle Stop is the spot for all the anticipation. It was definetly worth the dirty looks from the regulars to get down dancing on a Friday night.
Midway through the set lead vocalist Jason pulled off his guitar after endless trouble keeping in tune, and sent it hurling across the room.
"If the shit ain't working, throw the thing in the Goddam trash!" he declared comically, although obviously frustrated.
Highlights included the ethereal "Desert Song," "Every Time I Close My Eyes" with it's salsa flare and strange man on the saw (from Black Heart Procession), and of course the Johnny Cash/June Carter duet, "Jackson."
This band is incredible and features a wide array of instruments, all played with mad skill and ingenuity.
Bartender's Bible has a dirty, rocking Southwestern vibe that is easily digestable for even the non-country lover. I recommend everybody get a dose of this band and catch a set at the next available time. -Jesusid.

THE WASTRELS*THE MICE*THE QUITTERS*DIRTY PANTIES
Saturday, August 11th, at Chasers, North Park

This show rocked my fucking balls off! Dirty Panties hails from Vegas, a quartet of cute little punk rock girls. The lead singer is an ex-biology teacher. They tore it up wit a blazing set of pop-punk, followed by fellow Vegas thrashers : the Quitters.
The Quitters play a grimy mix of punk rock and hardcore laced with tripped out jams comparable to the likes of Tool. They nailed an awesome cover of "Refused Are Fucking Dead."
The Mice fucking rock and I love Rob Logic. Period. Rock and fucking Roll.
When the Wastrels hit the tiny stage, everybody went crazy. They are so damn fast, people were flying everywhere. This show captured the essence of what San Diego punk shows should be about : having a good time with a bunch of friends, not trying to out-tough each other in the pit.
Oh yeah, there was crowd-surfing going on during the Wastrels' set, a deadly feat inside the cramped Chasers dance floor. -Jesusid.

REAGAN YOUTH
MOUTH SEWN SHUT*DOOMSDAY HOUR*BASURA
Monday, August 13th, 2007
STATIC LOUNGE (San Diego, CA)

Shrouded in hookah and cigarette smoke, steamy with adolescent perspiration, in a little lounge on Broadway, Downtown [San Diego], I saw a show that was never supposed to happen: infamous Commie punk rock quartet Reagan Youth. Freshly reunited after roughly two decades of inactivity, the band had come together again with Pat Distraction of the New York out fit Distraction standing in on lead vocals.
Local sewer punks Basura opened the show, [vocalist] Sid stomping around like a statuesque Trojan warrior. Basura's mix of crust punk, hardcore, reggae and big hair speed metal proves to be quite unique.
Doomsday Hour plays a grimy cocktail of thrashy death-crust punk that is very loud and heavy and subconsciously provokes the listener to consult Revelations in the Bible. Everywhere these guys play, I mysteriously spend too much money on vinyl at the merch table.
Mouth Sewn Shut is hardcore from Boston, which features members of Toxic Narcotic. We left to smoke a blunt around the corner, and when we returned, Mouth Sewn Shut were tearing up the stage. I honestly cannot say enough good things about these guys. Audience participation is a big part of the live show of this band. "You're lucky they gave me such a short mic cord, or I'd be on top of you guys," remarked vocalist, Bill. Their blend of hardcore punk and reggae is quite brutal and pleasurable. I bought Pandemic=Solution on CD and Doomed Future Today on vinyl and the guys from Mouth Sewn Shut were very courteous. They are my new favorite band!
As soon as Reagan Youth hit the stage (they opened with "Degenerated"), one of the P.A. speakers came crashing down. The crowd was rabid, the band was together, sounding a little extra heavy, and more relevant now than ever before. They played nearly every song they ever wrote, and despite Pat Distraction's tour-strained vocals. Dave's spirit was definitely in the room.
After the show (they ended with the beginning: title anthem Reagan Youth), we were walking to the car when we came across Reagan Youth guitarist Paul Cripple wandering in the middle of the street with his arms full of gear. We asked if he needed directions, and he asked for a cigarette.
“My singer's all pissed off at me ‘cause his voice is fucked up, and I promised this kid we would do a song, and he didn’t want to do it. ‘It doesn’t sound the same.’ Fuck, it’s fuckin’ twenty years later, it’s not supposed to sound the same! So I’m gonna go over to my friend’s van, ‘cause at least I can do some drugs over there. Thanks for the smoke, man.”
I told him it was super cool that they came out to San Diego because a lot of kids thought they would never be able to ever see Reagan Youth live. This was probably my number one show of the year. Not only did I get to see a classic punk band, but I also got to shoot the shit with a classic punk guitarist who is still in top form. And, for the record, Pat Distraction did as good a job as anyone else could have. -Jesusid

PLASTIC-O-MATICS*TIM RALDO & THE FILTHY FUKS*
NEVERLAND RANCH HANDS*NOISEGOD
Friday, August 17th at Chasers

Beer bottles, boobs, chainsaws and guns. True punk rawk spectacle in its rawest form were the Plastic-O-Matics, a tribute to punk pioneers the Plasmatics. This was hard to envision. Really? Wendy-O? Could it be done?
The activity presented on the Chasers stage was most likely illegal in most places and would definitely be considered offensive to your average suburban-dwelling consumer. A dirty sailor such as myself couldn't get enough. Following fellow fiends Tim Raldo & the Filthy Fuks, the Plastic-O-Matics ripped into a set full of Plasmatics greats and all the added debachury expected from a good classic punk show.
Wendy-"Faux" (real name Kelly) enthralled the crowd with nudity, in which they responded by giving her a much-needed beer bath.
Make-up smeared and breasts exposed, the vocals came at a firey pace, and her manic growl never waned.
"Where's my gun?" she asked. I didn't fear for my life, but the following penetration left me with some questions.
Is it loaded?
This show was not for the faint of heart, but any fan of Wendy-O, punk and good-old-fashioned entertainment and exploitation were sorely missed. Catch them if you can. Other highlights of the night were provided by Noisegod and the Neverland Ranch Hands, respectively.
(POST SHOW: Personally offended friends by spitting on them and calling them cunts... Sorry for that one... Later, I pissed all over a lady-friend's bedroom. Ha ha!) -Mattnasty

RELEASES

REVENGE CLUB - Your Underground

(Recorded by Sean Lawson, Mastered by Mike Kamoo)
This is West Coast punk right from the start. Grungy riffs complemented by Amy's cat-scratch vocals, with a breakdown almost similar to a Guns N' Roses riff, but meaner. Their sound is distinctly Rock and Roll, a little poppy but still angst-ridden and mean, and almost, dare I say, Pacific-Northwestern. -Jesusid

PARIAH - Unethical EP

(Recorded by Ryan Butler)
I am a fan of this band. They were intriguing enough live for me to buy their EP release on CD-R, and I was not disappointed. In fact, this little item has become a regular part of my music picks at work and in the car. It is disappointingly short. This nasty little CD is very catchy and raw as fuck at the same time. I recommend to any fans of Nirvan, Rudimentary Peni, Crass, the Germs, etc... to immediately purchase this CD if you ever happen to come across it (which you probably never will). If you have a chance to see them, do it. And buy their EP. Support these guys, they're working hard. -Jesusid.

BARTENDER'S BIBLE - Rimrock Sessions

Tones of home, some slender rest music resonated with soulfulness rarely heard these days. An excellent effort by Jason and his band. This album represents some of the best in modern hick-grass I've heard in a while. From the true to life, upbeat "Eviction" (quite funny), to the more somber "Driving Song" (my personal favorite), this record stays true to its twangy roots. A good blend of good ol' style country a' la John Cash (Check out their cover of "Jackson," Great!), and my favorite red-headed stranger, to a more modern likeness to fellow country-rockers, Drag the River. This album does not disappoint. Any fan of honest-to-goodness music should check this one out! Viva la Country! -Mattnasty

DARY TERRIBLE'S Corridors of Tragedy

...(eyes open)... It's early/Or is it late? I'm feeling tired. There has been a change in the atmosphere. "Corridors" listens like a movie playing in my head. The ultimate soundtrack as if it was written with a rad screenplay in mind (possibly starring a strung-out James Dean), whose admittance would be well worth the ducketts. My buddy Jeezus passed me this jewel to review and it was so delectably different. I had to play it numerous times to fully decipher what I was hearing. A very earthy, yet surreal underbelly comes through strong on this recording, remeniscent of Beck's One Foot in the Grave, or any other early to mid-career Tom Waits album. Corridors of Tragedy definetly holds its own as a custom piece of ART. If I tried to summarize this album as a whole, my ramble would roam around aimlessly (involving night-time desert drives, copious amounts of pills, the lonesome loner syndrome, including "Where is she?"-type questions, mixed with random bouts of hysteria, etc...) and would take forever, so my suggestion is lend your own ears to this one. Personal favorites include "Invasion" and "Epitaph." Hang your flesh at www.myspace.com/daryterrible -Mattnasty

ASK RUBY ANYTHING

Hey, kids-
When presented with the opportunity to be a part of this fine publication, I had several ideas on how to approach this, and what I could offer...

My first idea was "Ask a Hooker." Mr. Matt Nasty and I will be interviewing real live hookers on their opinions about current affairs, politics, pop culture and whatnot... Stay tuned for that!!! It should prove to be very informative.
I thought to myself, "That's kind of cool, but why not have people ask me stuff?"

As a self-proclaimed know-it-all and smart ass, I thought this could be quite entertaining... I am a jack of all trades and consider myself to be knowledgable in many areas, from the beauty industry, to food, pop culture, music, sex, and random useless facts... I figure since I have a plethora of information I gladly give away, even at the most inappropriate times, why not do it for a good cause, keeping you, gentle reader, up to date on what's in my brain...

So basically consider me a foul-mouthed Ann Landers with a punk rock, go-fuck-yourself edge.... Ask me anything, seriously....Anything.
If I don't know I will find out in my never-ending quest to know as much as I can.

No subjects are off limits. I am a very honest person, so bring it on!!!

Each publication I will pick the top 3 or so questions, and if you get picked, you win the satisfaction of knowing that I dedicated a few minutes of my life to serve YOU!

Contact me at askrubyanything@yahoo.com

For those of you who don't get published, I will do my best to answer your emails, just to prove that I really do know everything...

Hugs and Kisses
-RUBY

If you would like to contribute to Plastic Fact Eaters :

Drop us a line at www.myspace.com/plasticfacteaters

We are mainly looking for show reviews, CD, vinyl and demo reviews, etc., but we are pretty much open to anything, because we fucking do what we want. If you are planning on submitting an article, please try to keep it reasonably short (read some of our reviews if you need an example), and try not to talk too much shit. Assholes will be scrutinized! If you don't like it, start your own 'zine.

RANTS AND RAVES WELCOME
'Til next time, long live vinyl!
FUCK OFF! Love,
PlasticFactEaters